The Twitter Dilemma

This indecisiveness has dogged me for as long as I can remember. Starting a blog, learning to design, trying to be more social; all these things have been delayed due to my inability to make a binding decision. Maybe it is the reason I spend hours trying to find the perfect app that I do not need. It did not strike me immediately, but this was a form of procrastination. This issue arose out of an impending fear of being judged as an imposter. There are hordes of artists, writers and thinkers whose creative journey couldn't even start or has been cut short due to this fear. For some, it might be a trivial matter, but there are people like me who ponder over our words a thousand times before finally blurting it out. Continually trying to find out faults in before someone else does. Now coming to the article name - The Twitter Dilemma. To overcome this fear, I created a Twitter account. But soon, my friends started following me, and I could tweet nothing more than a complaint I had with my telecom provider. I had never thought about this until I had unsuccessfully tried to start this blog three months ago.

We suffer more in our imagination than in our reality. - Seneca

It is often our voice in the head that holds us back by reinforcing our "empty" fears, continually questioning our ability and confidence. Coincidentally, I came across an article on Entrepreneur about Imposter Syndrome. As I went through the article, I could relate more and more with the author. One advice that worked for me was "Avoid perfectionism". After a brief struggle, I created my blog and resumed writing. FYI, this is my fourth attempt at a blog. I exactly knew what my first article should be. The header image was ready and my writing too. But there were a lot of hiccups. I was unable to decide which platform should I use, Wix, WordPress or Squarespace. After delving into a lot of research and weighing the pros and cons of each platform, I went on to create an account on Medium because of limitation on all activities but writing. As I Googled about the pro and cons of the platforms, I was sinking even deeper. I lost track of my objective, which was to *write.* I was stuck in the vicious cycle of procrastination. And this is the harmful kind. Unlike the other tasks, this did not have a deadline, and I lost track of time. A deadline enables you to limit the amount of time you spend on a task. My one takeaway from this was task expands according to the time you allot it. I tried to understand the procrastination matrix. I realized that my mind strays away from the objective towards the path of least resistance in search of the instant gratification. One YouTube video turns into hours of Mrwhosetheboss, gadget reviews and whatever the YouTube bubble can offer.

Before I was trapped in a downward spiral into the abyss of YouTube recommendations, I came across some productivity videos that helped me take back control. Within a week, I had churned out two articles and set up a Twitter handle( a shameless plug, I know). But this isn't a movie; I resorted back to my old ways: binge-watching, binge-reading and what not. Then I fell into a rut again. I am writing this article due to a spurt of motivation I had while listening to some Lo-fi playlist on Spotify. I read somewhere that it helps to focus, and here I am trying it out. It works - at least for me. It is not going to be an overnight change, and I know that. Gradually but steadily, I will get over this and continue writing my heart out. That's the first step : acceptance.

*What’s stopping you from achieving your objective? If you think it is anything but you, think again and make amends.*